Date: 5th May 2016 at 3:47pm
Written by:

Ken Barkway celebrates an old fashioned evening where the lines between good and evil, white and the Man in Black were distinctly blurred…

So the dust has settled on a good old fashioned London derby and with it Spurs’ remote chance of doing the unthinkable.

The gentlemen of the press are always keen to state loudly that there is no anti Chelsea agenda – then they should perhaps read their own hysterical by-lines, on a night when 12 yellow cards were issued, a record 9 to one team, a team that wasn’t Chelsea.

4791242Those risible by-lines were alleging (and then “exclusively” disproving) a Costa “bite” and a playful bit of genital juggling by our little Spanish playmaker.  Now this chosen angle is curious when a Spurs player’s fingers go near our strikers eye, Spurs holding midfield player commits three feasibly red card drawing challenges, or if you’re feeling charitable at least three cautions, a Spurs player stands on the aforementioned little Spanish playmaker’s hand, not to mention a  few sly kicks, some  snot throwing and an attempted garrotting with a shirt collar.  And yet like a John Ford western the bad guys in the dark duds must have upset the ones in the white garb.

Well that would fit with an anti Jose narrative. Back in the days when Chelsea were the masters of the dark arts and were powerful and physically imposing. But this is the physically slight Chelsea of the avuncular Guus, the Chelsea with no heart, no spine and no soul.

Against a Tottenham team lead by the up and coming Argentine schemer. Who incidentally as a limited but agricultural centre half amassed 13 dismissals – so no stranger to the art of naughtiness at all. I strongly suspect that the young Spurs side were told to match or intimidate Chelsea, no longer the most physically robust of sides and to wind up Costa who “inevitably” will, headbutt, stamp, spit or snarl his way into a booking or hopefully a dismissal.

It didn’t happen. Against the run of play the new keystone cops Chelsea defence gifted a couple of soft goals. The Spurs title challenge was on.  The dirgey chants were getting louder. The 26 year itch was being scratched. So it wasn’t unreasonable to expect a bit of composure and a lot of metronomic possession football. No. Not at all. What happened was kind of Spursy; they found a new way to wrest defeat (or a draw anyway) from the jaws of victory. They forgot to drop the Plan A of intimidation and descended into the silliest of disciplinary meltdowns.

Spurs Achilles heel of defending set pieces saved the world when the much maligned Gary J Cahill thumped the ball into the onion bag from an unfielded corner.4791144 Rather than regaining (or more accurately gaining) composure it all got sillier by the minute, then the Eden Hazard of last term capped a sparkling performance with a goal of the season contender. Then it properly unravelled. The East Side of the Shed was as quiet as Brompton Cemetery just over the wall. The Chelsea fans taunted, teased and laughed. The whistle blew – the cue for another ruck which resulted in Uncle Guus being jostled over.

As usual the ex referees weigh in, passing their infallible slo-mo judgement on the match officials’ performances.  Certainly in the two I read both condemned Dembele, Walker and Dier and maintained that they were very lucky to stay on the pitch. So far, so irrefutable. However it was through gritted teeth and bundled with the caveat that wherever Costa is there is trouble. If that isn’t a window into the soul of a referee I don’t know what is. There it is in black and white. Twice. They referee the man, or the reputation of the man anyway and not the game. That is the very definition of bias. Or prejudice. As suspected I suppose. I’d like to think that there weren’t other external pressures from Asian men in red Mercs or blazered FA officials trying to stretch interest in this weirdest of seasons.

4791425Graham Poll felt that Clattenburg keeping his cards in his pockets for the first quarter of the match was to Spurs detriment. “They could have won the game”. I can’t see his logic, most of the fouls in this period of grace were by Spurs players. “Cerebral” Halsey likewise felt that letting a number of clearly bookable offences go early to “avoid spoiling the game” was somehow commendable and in no way contributory to the later loss of control of the game.

In the end Spurs will get the mandatory sanction for exceeding the magic 5 yellow cards with such aplomb. Doubtless because of the numerous melees both teams will have a blanket “failing to control players” charge thrown at them. Which is as lazy, arbitrary and craven as the refereeing performance itself. Individual incidents will also be refereed by telly. And the referee will continue to indulge in his public pratfalls with impunity.

Personally, and this is just one biased opinion. One set of players should be commended for the restraint shown in the face of such provocation and ineptitude.

Still it was old fashioned and fun. Pure gold.

 

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