A debut blog from Alan Gavurin who ponders which players have impressed against Chelsea thus far this season and those who have not…
As the Parlour Games season approaches I thought it would be worth playing two think-games that I shall call “I like the look of yours” and “can we play you every week?” In other words, take a peek at our opponents over recent games and wonder aloud which players have impressed playing against us and could, conceivably, get into our excellent squad and those who would struggle to get a job cutting up the oranges at half time. (Believe me, one or two wouldn’t even be allowed to walk whilst carrying scissors.)
This is going to be a highly selective list because in fifteen league games and three cup games we have played against over 200 opponents (of course I’m not going to count them all).
Who looks a bit of alright?
Thanks to our recent amazing run this is going to be the shorter list – in fact I can only think of a handful of players who have played well against us and, of course most come from our two major failures – vs Liverpool and Arsenal.
Liverpool’s first half was terrific, such pace and verve and Mané, Coutinho, Clyne and Lovren all excelled. The fact that they held on in the face of an albeit limited Chelsea recovery in the second half was a much greater statement than Spurs were able to make after an almost as impressive first half two months later.
As much as it pains me to says so, Arsenal were similarly impressive in the first half, eight days later at the Emirates. Whilst we were slow out of the blocks against Liverpool, we were woeful against Arsenal, especially in the first half and we committed the cardinal sins of making Theo Walcott look good and letting Ozil score. I will only ever think of Ozil as a flat-track bully and think Carzola is much better, but Sanchez is their truly good/great player. Bellerin is pretty useful going forward and Mustafi is a real upgrade on Mertesacker.
I know writers love to muse on turning points but the second half was not just the debut of our massively successful 3-4-3 system but, equally importantly, the moment that our players looked deep within their souls and decided to stop the rot.
So who else has impressed? Not many given how well we have played in the other games, especially recently. Okazaki scored twice against us in the EFL Cup but Begovic didn’t cover himself in glory that night. We know Leicester have some good players having poached the best of them. Mahrez would grace most sides and even though Vardy looks like he has to go back to his uncle’s scaffolding firm on Monday morning, he can be an effectively, annoying bugger. However, against us they all played poorly, twice.
The whole West Brom team certainly put in a shift, more work-rate than skill. Fabianski and Siggurdson (as he always does against us) both played very well for Swansea in the 2-2 draw at their place and Traore looked useful for Middlesbrough but we’ve got our own Traore so there would be no place for him at Stamford Bridge.
Would I have any of these players at Chelsea? Sanchez no question. Mané? The jury is still out but he looks skilful and obviously blisteringly fast. Carzola would be a good squad player (replace Fabregas?) and Clyne would make a good wing back. (I also think Danny Rose is half-way decent but he was suspended against us this season.) And that’s about it.
Who is Pants?
A longer list this. I will have to keep it brief but we’ve been helped with some awful goalkeeping performances with Stekelenburg in first place, closely followed by Gomes, then Forster and Bravo. (Is there anyone else other than Pep that thinks Bravo is better than Joe Hart?).
I feel guilty picking Antonio from West Ham because he is a fine young player who is going to go far but playing him out of position at full back was a big mistake by Bilic.
Smalling was dreadful for Man Utd and I’m guessing Jose was marking his card with indelible ink. But he would get in any defence in the land ahead of my two star dummies – Otamendi and Stones. At least Stones has youth on his side. Everyone says he can be the next Rio Ferdinand (as if that is a good thing) but he has a long way to go, and many drug tests to miss, before he gets to that level. Otamendi is 28 and his performance against us was risible. Maybe playing against Diego turns normal players into fools but West Brom’s far less acclaimed defenders did a much better job than someone who has played 43 times for Argentina.
Bottom of the Pants list (ooh err) must be Aguero and Fernandinho. Both are decent players, especially Aguero who is one of the best in the world, but their attitude, immaturity and reckless behaviour make them as bad as any of the helpless klutzes mentioned above – worse so because of the waste of their talent.
Special Mentions
The “can we play you every week” manager of the season would, for Chelsea fans at least, be our friend Pep Guardiola. As we know, he has never beaten a Chelsea team and as far as I’m concerned he can dick about with tactics and systems as much as he likes as long he puts up teams as unprepared and confused as he did against us last month (and then again against Leicester).
He could do far worse than spending a couple of seasons shadowing Tony Pulis (maybe not on matters financial). He knows how to prepare for a game and set up a team. Some say Joe Allen is the Welsh Pirlo. 2016 has been a pretty weird year but things haven’t yet got to the point that Tony Pulis is the Welsh Conte but who knows?
Alan Gavurin
